Chit Chat Tuesday: Public Displays of Grooming 

~ stashy

Today’s Chat Chat topic is something that most people have an opinion about: is it socially acceptable to perform self grooming activities in public?

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I’m sure everyone can share a cringe-inducing story of witnessing someone’s public display of inappropriate self-grooming. Everyone has their own comfort level of what’s appropriate, and here are my opinions!

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First, let’s establish what I consider public places: it’s anywhere that strangers can see you. So, the comfort of your own car on the road isn’t really a private place – those aren’t one-way mirrors, they’re glass, and yes people can see you pick your nose.  Subways, buses, the mall, Starbucks, restaurants, the office, the park, waiting in line at McDonald’s… are all public spaces. 🙂  Let’s run through some do’s and don’ts:

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Acceptable: Quickly tying up hair into a ponytail or claw
Unacceptable: Combing or brushing hair

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Acceptable: Applying lipbalm or lip products that don’t require a mirror
No: Applying lipstick / lip liner that requires the use of a mirror

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Acceptable: Quickly touching up of powder or face blotting (I’m still iffy on this)
Nopey Nope: Applying full face foundation and concealer, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, blush

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Acceptable: Trimming a hangnail or file a jagged nail (in an emergency situation)
Just No: Cutting nails with a nail clipper, filing all 10 fingers

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Acceptable: Applying hand cream
Please No: Applying cream to the face or lotion to the body (well, maybe except for sunscreen at the beach!)

Source. The Tokyo Metro released a series of subway manners and devoted 3 images just to this issue!
The Tokyo Metro released a series of subway manners and devoted 3 images just to this issue! Source.

I have more nos than yeses, so…
No no no:
• Applying nail polish
• Spraying perfume
• Scratching your scalp excessively
• Cleaning ears with fingers
• Picking food out of your teeth
• Picking your nose

Story time: Recently my SO and I went to one of our favourite places for lunch. It’s a fairly casual place and the food is reasonably priced but delicious. After we were seated, in comes a family with a son who looked to be about 10 years old – they’re seated 2 tables away from us. We place our order and the restaurant is fairly quiet until we hear “click, click, click”. The distinct sound of a nail clipper. The mom had whipped out a nail clipper and was trimming her son’s nails right at the table! His nail clippings were just flying everywhere!!! We had half the mind to 1) tell them off 2) get up and move to another table 3) tell the waitress to make them stop 4) glare at them. We’re pacifists so we chose option #4. 😛 But ew, just the thought of his nail clippings landing at our table was gag-inducing. At least they stopped before our food arrived.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Any other things I might have missed? Also, I’d love to hear stories of what public displays of grooming you’ve witnessed!

78 thoughts on “Chit Chat Tuesday: Public Displays of Grooming ”

  1. My filter is definitely broken from going to an all girls school, pulling tights up in the middle of the street is socially acceptable in my head! I would brush my hair in public, depending on where I was, but not in anywhere anywhere food related for sure. I definitely wouldn’t ever consider clipping my nails, that’s just a horrid thought! I would apply lipstick, but with the aid of the mirror – I wouldn’t be pulling it out without it, I’d look like the joker!

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    1. I know I’m guilty on a number of occasions of applying lipstick… I think society is a bit more lax about that these days.
      Well, you know I don’t comb my hair much anyway so that’s not an issue. 😛 I have tied my hair up in public before to get it off my face. Nail clipping is honestly just the worst! I’ve witnessed it far too often though.

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    1. I don’t know why it’s so prevalent but I see / hear nail clipper ALL the time on the subway! At my old job a girl used to do it at her desk! I could hear it from my office! Why do they not do it at home? I don’t get it.

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  4. Eww, I’ve never seen anyone clip their nails in public and would be seriously grossed out if I ever witnessed it. (I would also go for option no.4!)

    I usually apply hand cream and lip balm in public, and that’s where I draw the line. However, I don’t mind when people apply their full face of makeup in public, as long as they’re not spraying anything. Love this kind of post. xx

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    1. Yes I’m typically the lip balm and hand cream girl too. I take the subway daily so I’ve seen just about everything. I am both fascinated and grossed out by someone applying full face of makeup…. I can’t turn away! (mostly I think I’m curious about how they apply their makeup and what products they use. I saw a girl use a SPOON to curl her lashes!) Once I sat beside a woman who sprayed perfume right beside me, and a bit got ON me. It was a stinky perfume too. I didn’t appreciate that!

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      1. Haha a spoon? I definitely wouldn’t do that in public, but then my husband always tells me I care far too much about what other people think.

        Stinky perfume on me would really annoy me, and I think I would go beyond glaring and actually say something. xx

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        1. I think it’s a mixture of politeness as well as hygiene though. I don’t think it’s sanitary to be touching my face in public. And when I do my makeup, I wash my hands frequently especially if I’m using liquids.
          Yes with the perfume, I was THIS close to speaking up but I was getting off at the next stop. I gave her a dirty look.

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  5. Omg! I can’t believe someone clipped their nails at a restaurant!! To clip your nails anywhere in public is gross enough, let alone near food.
    I’d agree with you on all your yeses and nos, although I haven’t experienced anything too bad. One time I saw a girl do a full face of makeup on public transit, and she had a punk style with dark eyes and heavy liner. I looked the the lady in the first picture with the magazine.

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    1. I’ve heard of even worse horror stores of nail clipping. I hope you’re not eating while you’re reading this, but my friend told me he saw a guy clip his TOE NAILS at a restaurant!!! WTF.
      I’ve seen far too many people doing their makeup in transit. I’m both fascinated and grossed out – I want to watch them for what products they’re using as well as their technique. 😛

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      1. OMG! Ugh, how can anyone think that’s an okay thing to do?! Cutting a hangnail or chipped nail is fine, but otherwise keep that shizz at home!
        That being said, I rarely do it, but I am guilty of putting on lipstick in public that needs a mirror to be applied, lol. I feel like it’s not quite AS bad as other grooming rituals? You’re not getting anything on anyone else, it’s not unsanitary, and you’re not digging out a million brushes to apply it.

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        1. Yeah, I think lipstick application is more and more acceptable these days. I mean, even the Queen is doing it, then I think us commoners are fine to do it. 😛 When you apply your lipstick, do you catch people watching you?

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  6. So funny coz I was actually talking about this with my hubby the other day.. I cannot stand people grooming in public but unfortunately, when you live in a busy cities that people are always on the go.. I guess you can’t help but do it in public like subway or public transportation.. And my biggest No No is someone BLOWING their nose in public (I CANNOT STAND IT)! Maybe it’s just me? But it’s a No all the way. ✌🏻️

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    1. Yes I guess it’s more common since we live in big cities. Nose blowing is gross all around. I mean, they can’t even wash their hands afterwards so they’re walking around with dirty hands too! Last week I witnessed a guy using a HANDKERCHIEF and was blowing his nose SO loudly. GAG.

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      1. That is disgusting! My co-worker does it a lot! Glad he’s not reading this.. HAHA I myself have to hide or say excuse when needed but I cannot.. Just cannot do it in public..🙈

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  8. Now that’s an interesting subject! I too wouldn’t dream of spraying perfume (although I often think everyone in the train would benefit from it…) or applying a full face make-up or nail polish on a train or in a restaurant or at work – but sometimes I check my make-up in the mirror (in public), and yes, I often reapply my lipstick when I’m on the train. I think it’s important to consider the proximity to other people and to what extent they might be inconvenienced. I don’t think anyone could reasonably be disturbed when I give my lips a little colour boost in under 10 seconds.

    I do however think it’s usually quite messy when women apply certain powder products – especially loose powder – on the train because that stuff simply flies everywhere. The same goes for filing nails. Emergency or not – why not just get off the train and tend to a broken nail on the platform. Yes, it’s still public, but at least there’s no nail gunk ending up on someone else’s clothes. And don’t get me started on people brushing their hair on the train, at eateries or at their desks. Most people who do this have greasy & smelly hair and they moan about how untameable their hair is – why they don’t wash it more frequently I’ll never understand… and yes, I’ve given people subtle hints!

    But I’ve seen worse: Men clipping their toenails, flossing their teeth, and shaving with an electric razor on the train (this makes me gag instantly, and these guys are usually the smelliest ones – because they’re the ones who’d even skip brushing their teeth if they can sleep just 5 minutes longer)…

    Women can be just as gross – I’ve seen women plucking their eyebrows, chin hair and their lady moustaches on the train. Women applying liquid foundation with their hands and then reaching into their handbag for the next product. Gross! Oh, and before I forget it – there’s a girl at my workplace who files her nails everywhere. I once saw her filing her nails over someone else’s keyboard. Yuck!!

    Ah well, the joys of… humankind! I know my rant is quite focused on what people do on trains – but it appears that public transport really brings out the (hygiene-wise) worst in people. And we haven’t even discussed smelly people, smelly people eating smelly food or smelly food being left behind by smelly people… 😀

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    1. I do agree, there are MANY times on the subway I wish there was an air freshener… B.O. and the smell of FEET! Ugh
      Yeah the lipstick thing… I think if you’re discreet it’s not bad. I guess I’m old fashioned in that way.
      Loose powder on the train? That’s just asking for trouble! Hmm I’ve had incidents where I’ve had a jagged nail that caught on something and I had to file it then there there, but I do it on the side away from people! I hear you, the thought of the filing going onto someone else is gross.
      You know what is the worse about people who brush their dirty hair? THE SMELL of their dirty hair. I hate HATe that smell! GAG!
      Wow, you’ve honestly seen men shave on the train?! That, I have not witnessed!
      Yes, I’ve seen liquid foundation being applied on the train too. They just wipe their hands on their bags, they don’t care. And the thing is, the girls look completely normal! I wouldn’t be able to peg any particular type of girl who would do such a thing.
      Most of my run-ins are on trains too – I suppose people have idle time on there to groom themselves or eat and just generally treat it like their own living room. I like the Hong Kong transit: no drinks or food allowed.
      Thanks for your comment – I love reading about this stuff! 😀

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      1. If you have a nail accident, I totally understand that you want to tend to your nail to avoid a further mishap. It’s much easier to fix a nail right away than having to do nail surgery (=to glue it back on) at home. Being discreet and considerate is always the key.

        Stashy, I could discuss ‘train people’ with you for hours. 😀

        Yes, the smell of ‘scalp’ (=greasy scalp AND greasy hair) is one of the worst smells out there. It’s the epitome of uncleanliness. Can you imagine what those people’s pillows smell like?

        I’m 6’1” (and I rarely get a seat on the train) so I usually have someone’s icky scalp right under my nose. I really don’t know how people can live like this. And how can they continue to use their smelly hair brushes? And how do they manage to touch their own hair? Yuck!

        B.O. and feet is ‘nice’ too. A classic train fragrance. 😀 By the way, these are the guys that use an electric razor on the train. They’re usually well dressed – but they smell of gym socks, old sweat and stale cheese.

        Sometimes I work on Saturdays – and the people who are on the train at 7 on a Saturday morning are the worst. 99% of them look and smell like they haven’t showered in a week! At least most of these guys have zero interest in clipping their nails or flossing their teeth on the train (or ever?)… 😀

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        1. Ah the scents of trains… “they smell of gym socks, old sweat and stale cheese”. I LOL’d at that! 😆
          Man, you must have such a different perspective being so tall. I don’t envy you. I think dirty hair is my #2 involuntary gag-reflex inducing smell. #1 is B.O. and #3 is feet. #4 is mouldy clothes 😮 👿
          I think I have a sensitive nose… these smells don’t seem to bother other people. I ask around if they can smell what I smell and they don’t!

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          1. It can be a curse to have a sensitive nose, I know! I guess you too often sit on the train with your mouth and nose covered by your scarf – secretly gagging with tears in your eyes?

            I think it’s awesome you ask other people if they smell ‘that’! But it’s as sad as it’s weird that they don’t. 😦

            Being tall can be tough sometimes (although most of the time I’m very happy with it). Sometimes just looking at someone’s greasy hair makes me gag. And I always know how bad the stink is going to be as soon as the train doors close just from looking at the back of a head. At least I’m warned! 😀

            Oh, and let me tell you about my current top 5 of the worst smells…
            1. bad breath (let’s be honest, it takes only one person who had garlic bread for breakfast to stink up an entire carriage)
            2. BO (especially when it’s pungent and sweaty or anything cheesy)
            3 scalp (no excuse – again, how do these people manage to touch their own hair without gagging??)
            4 feet / bum (no explanation needed)
            5 wet dog (I know it’s not the poor doggies’ fault, but I think this smell is very unpleasant)

            I’ve never smelled mouldy clothes (I guess I’m lucky!) – but I love that it’s on your ‘list’. If I ever smell mouldy clothes (and recognise it as such), I might just break into a song (one I would make up as I sing), something like… ‘viva le stink…’:D

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  9. In a restaurant of all place. Yuck! Nail cutting, nail varnish, perfum and hair brushing is quite scary in public. But I must admit, I am extremely guilty of doing my make up in public (not concealer though, normally my concealing would have been completed at home). I don’t feel that it affects other people. Why are they looking? It is just like a magic trick? 😛

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    1. I like watching people put their makeup on – because it’s like watching animals in the wild, lol! I want to see how people do their makeup and what products they use. I mentioned in another comment, but once I saw a girl curl her lashes with a SPOON! It was fascinating. I’ve seen a girl put her own hair up in a French braid. She had some mad skillz.

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  10. My question is what is scratching your scalp is excessive.one two or taking your pony out and putting both hands in and scratching? lol Now,I have applied roller ball perfume , is that acceptable?

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    1. Well I’m not the grooming police! 😆 But I think a couple of times itching the scalp is ok! And hmm I don’t think any perfume delivery method is acceptable because some people are really sensitive to scents! It’s different if you’ve applied it at home and it’s on your skin vs applying it fresh in person. But that’s just my opinion!

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  11. I cannot stand nail clipping in public !!! (So gross) 😖
    I NEVER put any sort of makeup anywhere else then a bathroom …
    You made me smile while reading this post (and mostly cringe) xxx

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    1. Haha yes, lots of cringing! I don’t understand people with the nail clipping. WHY they feel the public is the perfect place for it? Do they not have any time at home? And applying makeup… can’t they find a washroom to go to do it?

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        1. The SOUND of the clipping triggers an involuntary reaction in me, for sure!
          Hmm Wellington St W doesn’t have much around there… it’s all office towers! IF he walks up a few blocks there’s NYX store on Queen St W. That’s about it. If he was closer to Eaton Centre there is Inglot and Muji.

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  12. I never got the clipping your nails in public. That’s just nasty. But I’ll. Comb/brush our my hair (if I’m wearing my extensions, it can become tangled after awhile) and the lipstick/lipgloss thing. Today I realized I somehow forgot to do my brows. Eep! Luckily I carry a neutral brown eyeliner in my bag, but I went into the bathroom at work to do it. But I’ve blotted/powder touchup at my desk.

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    1. Yes I blot at my desk all the time, it’s no biggie.
      The hair combing thing… I see that mostly applicable at a place where food is being served. Otherwise, it’s not as bad.
      But yeah, nail clipping is a firm no in a public setting. Just do it at home, geez!

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    1. I’m not sure what they were thinking. And the sad part is that the son will grow up thinking it’s ok to do that in public… and the cycle goes on.
      In a restaurant I always go to the washroom to touch up, I just was taught that way. But I don’t think it’s THAT offensive to do a quick touch up in public.

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    1. Yeah maybe I’m old fashioned in that way. I’ll throw it on if it’s lip balm or tinted lip balm that doesn’t require a mirror but as soon as a mirror is needed, I jet off to the washroom!

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  16. OMG that’s so disgusting. I wouldn’t have said anything either (maybe to the waiter so they could deal with it) but clipping nails in public is a no ESP when you’re in a place where food is being served. Same thing with brushing your hair. I don’t care so much about the applying makeup bits but I don’t like to powder or apply lipstick in public. Spraying perfume though is just a dick move. Not everyone wants to smell like you! And so many people DROWN themselves in that shit.

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    1. Yes the perfume thing has gotten much worse I’ve noticed. I mentioned in a comment that I had a lady SPRAY her stinky perfume right beside me while we were seated. She looked like total trashy lady too. That stink isn’t going to mask your nastiness!
      And yes, any place that serves food should be treated as a place of cleanliness!
      I’m mostly self conscious about applying makeup in public so I go to the washroom. And I mean, if I’m at a restaurant or at work, there are washrooms close by, what’s the big deal to walk there and do it in private?

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  17. I definitely agree on you with these. My parents taught me to be very conservative about personal grooming in public so the only thing I do is apply chapstick. I guess there isn’t really anything wrong with seeing people put on makeup in public, I just think you should make time to get ready before you leave.
    I have to disagree with oil blotting in public though. I think you should do that in the bathroom! But I’m kind of grossed out by the oily wax paper that results from blotting

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    1. I try to err on the side of caution with self grooming – if I’m unsure, I default to doing it in private. That’s why I’m iffy on the face blotting / powdering – sometimes I will do it but I won’t do it in a restaurant or in public transit. But I will do it at my desk in the office instead of going to the washroom… because I’m more comfortable with my coworkers I guess! 😛

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  18. This post made me both laugh and cringe! Cutting nails in public is nasty! That is reserved for the bathroom at home. I will admit I am guilty of butting my hair up in public, if it’s bothering me I am going to throw it up somehow!

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    1. I feel like quickly tying up your hair isn’t THAT bad. I just think combing / brushing in public is not cool. And doubly not cool at any place where food is served!

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    1. I didn’t want to call out any cultural groups but I do think that it’s slightly more tolerant in Asian countries. But yeah… the nail clipping is frowned upon EVERYWHERE.

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  20. **Guilty**
    Sooo I do occasionally do my makeup in the car on the way to work while I am sitting in traffic. Or when the boy is rushing me out of the house and doesn’t leave me with enough time to get my face on.
    Guilty guilty 😦 It does have its consequences though…i.e forgetting to blend in concealer 😕

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    1. Tsk tsk tsk! So it’s YOU that I see in the passenger seat doing your makeup! 😛 Well, at the very least you’re not driving and putting on makeup, which I also see. So dangerous!
      Yes, I always wonder just how GOOD the makeup application can be while in a moving vehicle? 😆

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      1. Been reading through the comments on this and now I feel like putting my make up on in the car is pretty much the equivalent of picking my nose in public 😕… at least I’m not doing my nails in public and some of the other stuff mentioned 😉
        Stashy for you and the people who people watch me in my car while I do my makeup I will TRY to get up 5 mins earlier to do my face at home :p
        This was a super interesting post 🙂

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  21. OMG. Who would clip fingernails in public, let alone in a restaurant? That is so disgusting. I hate doing it at home and immediately vacuum afterwards.
    I do touch ups of my makeup in public, though if at all possible I retreat into a restroom to do it in front of the mirror. People are weird.
    xo Anne – Doves & Roses

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    1. I file / clip my nails at home in the bathroom over either a waste bin or the sink, I just can’t imagine the mess it creates in public! Ew. Yes, you said it. people ARE weird!

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  22. One of the best topic that is suitable to share a bit of information from all of us. I would preferably do makeup at home or otherwise, while on the move, it would definitely be at restroom. But, I have seen so many ladies do their makeup look right from scratch (from bare face) on the moving train but for me, I won’t feel comfortable at all. I’m not sure, how one could handle those bumps and stops of the moving vehicle.

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    1. I agree – how do they manage the movement of the car? I guess it takes practice and skill! I did watch a woman apply mascara on the train and every time it would stop, she had to pause too. And yes, I’m also not comfortable with displaying to the world how I do my makeup – it’s just a private activity to be done at home!

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  23. LMAO! I have definitely seen people A) clipping nails on the subway, B) clipping TOENAILS on the subway WTF, C) putting on an ENTIRE face of makeup on the subway, foundation to mascara. What on earth is going on??? I don’t care about lipstick application with a mirror, though :p That seems innocuous to me. But I don’t do it myself, usually.

    I think the nail clipping at a restaurant takes the cake, though. Dear lord I’d have complained to the restaurant staff, for sure. I’m mostly grossed out by stuff spreading around – which is why filing nails, brushing hair, clipping nails, etc. are all super bad to me, but applying lipstick is not such a big deal.

    I did see a woman applying mascara WHILE driving, however. That bothered me because she could injure herself or somebody else with her car.

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    1. I’ve never seen with my own eyes the toenail clipping but omg GAG.
      The full face of makeup – yeah, I don’t get it. Why. It just seems ripe for disaster. Although, it would make for a fun makeup challenge similar those “No mirror makeup challenge” or “My boyfriend does my makeup”. 😛
      My SO was THIS close to saying something to the waitress if they hadn’t stopped by the time our food arrived. Oh trust me. He wouldn’t stand for that crap.
      Yes, the driving distracted no matter WHAT they’re doing, it is just WRONG.

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      1. Oh man, you just reminded me of another one. It’s not technically public, but I’ve had houseguests walk around my home FLOSSING. For various reasons I’ve been unable to stop them/tell them to stop…ugh. WHAT. THE.

        And I’d rather go out barefaced than have DH do my makeup, I think! XD I guess he might be able to manage some lipgloss/lipstick.

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  24. OMG! I was going to do a post on this! PROMISE. I took a flight last year with this obnoxious girl who buffed her damn fingers nails with a coarse buffing block for 45 f*cking minutes. I was horrified and disgusted. Since I generally hate other people (just kidding, sort of) and love confrontation, I told her to stop it, that I no longer wanted to “breathe in her nail dust in this tiny, badly ventilated cabin.” She looked mortified and my husband told me to take it easy. She put the buffer away, sulked for the rest of the flight with her head buried in a Teen Vogue.

    I also despise when I see people putting on their makeup on the bus/subway. I don’t know why it bugs me so much. They aren’t hurting anyone…I just think it’s gross. I always notice too that the most of the people who do this have broken or dirty makeup. Maybe that’s it – the unhygienic-ness of it. YUCK. That being said, I watched a crossdresser doing is makeup on the streetcar on Queen Street West. I was totally captivated. From his glittery purple lipstick, to how he managed to apply his false lashes with surgical like precision…I pretty much got up and gave him a standing ovation.

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    1. Good on you for speaking up! I’m not sure if I would have the balls to. I’m so conflict avoidant! But yeah breathing in someone else’s nail dust in a flight cabin is nasty-o.
      Yes, I’ve also noticed the majority of people who do their makeup in public have unhygienic makeup! I guess it makes sense – their whole being is rushed and unprepared, so why would they even bother or think about the state of their makeup?
      OMG, I am obsessed with cross dressers. I have total admiration for their tips and tricks for makeup
      I’d love to read your post on this topic! I think you will be more ranty than I was here, lol.

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      1. Oh yeah. Definitely more ranty. LOL! Sorry – I didn’t mean to come off like too much of a jerk. There are some things that really, really bug me like this “nasty-o” habit. Anywhooo…I greatly enjoyed your post. You’ve motivated me to get writing! I’ll link back to you so you can read it! LOL!

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  25. Love this! Your stories always make my day! 🙂 the security guard in my local Boots clips his fingernails every other Tuesday on his break in front of the store…..😖😖😖 its horrific!

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  26. I always find the diversity of opinions on this topic fascinating!
    Personally I kind of goo with the”if it will/can affect others don’t do it in public” approach. So don’t clip your nails(ew ew we), maybe don’t brush your hair in a restaurant, but if there isn’t food I don’t really care if someone brushed their hair. Don’t spray perfume. Honestly though everything else is fair game! Go on and apply your makeup on the train! As long as you aren’t getting makeup on me it doesn’t bother me.

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    1. Yes it boils down to hygiene and self awareness. I think any bodily discard (hair / nails) is just not cool in areas where food is served. Makeup application… sometimes that can get messy though – powders and liquids can fly around…
      But isn’t it interesting how varied the opinions are? It might be cultural, who knows. I know that bottom line though: nail clipping in public is hard NO!

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  27. OMG this post! When I lived in Toronto I saw so many people on public transit doing all of these things! Nail clipping is the worst offense to me. Why would anyone ever think that is acceptable in public? I drive to work where I live now, so my grossed-out outrage is confined to airports usually. While I was at Pearson airport recently in a restaurant, the girl at the next table whipped out a brush and started brushing her hair. I mean, really?

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